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Review: Tacoma

Tacoma: random crap
There might have been an imbalance of random crap-…

Tacoma is boring. That is a shame because I really liked its predecessor Gone Home, which was the first walking simulator* I played and it opened my eyes to the great possibilities of the genre. Like most people my first thought was “I want this again, but on a space station.” Of course I had something dark and sinister in mind, not a display of an Utopian society, which is so colorful and diverse, that in its awkward political correctness an evil mega corporation seems out of place. Continue reading “Review: Tacoma”

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Review: The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

The Witcher3: Wild Hunt: a view at the mountain of shame
My first time being referenced in a video game.

After a short unannounced break of several months I am back again to tell you how to be a better person and what video games to play. Recently I spent about 80 (true) to 300 (false) hours with the Witcher 3. It’s a gigantic open world rpg carved out of the bones and draped in the blood of overworked Polish game developers or so the legend goes. ‘Was their sacrifice worth it?’ you ask. To which I say ‘Yes.’ But let me complain anyway. Continue reading “Review: The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt”

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Review: Assetto Corsa

Assetto Corsa: a Porsche 962C at the beach
Showing off my daily driver at the beach.

Like most racing games, Assetto Corsa lets you drive cars in a circle very fast. Unlike most racing games Assetto Corsa makes it feel, as long as you own a racing wheel setup, which is a great way to test how strong your relationship with your significant other really is, pretty real. This of course is not true. Sitting in you living room holding an expensive toy that moves on its own has nothing to do with real world driving, but as far as immersion goes that toy in combination with Assetto Corsa make it a pretty great experience. Did you hear that? I called Assetto Corsa a game. Yes, as far as genres goes it’s a sim, but it’s still a game. It doesn’t matter how much time and money you spend on it, how much skill you build up, you keep playing a video game. Get over it, sim racer! It’s okay. Continue reading “Review: Assetto Corsa”

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Review: Tomb Raider

Tomb Raider: dirty Lara
Lara is having a rough day…

I played through Tomb Raider by accident. It’s a game about killing, climbing and grabbing ledges in the last second. I was never a big fan of the original series, but the recent Uncharted-like reboot intrigued me and for some reason it became dirt cheap quick, which I don’t understand because I think the game is great (spoiler!). Naturally that meant it was doomed to live a life of sad abandon in my game collection, until recently a monthly subscription of a popular bundle provider, who shall remain unnamed, teased me with the second game in the series. Ten hours later, I am writing this. Continue reading “Review: Tomb Raider”

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Impression: Attractio

I feel like writing an article about how stupid this subtitle is.

Hey, remember how good ‘Portal’ was and how you always wanted a game that’s inferior to it in any extent? Me neither. Nine years later ‘Attractio: The Reality Show Begins”, a game with a really silly name, provides you with just that. While clearly aimed at the Portal fan base, it offers less of anything that made Portal so dear to me. Continue reading “Impression: Attractio”

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Impression: Assassin’s Creed III

Assassin's Creed III: a man standing on the tip of a church tower
You can climb a church tower and still appear as if your are trying really hard to look cool.

To build your mountain of shame you cannot solely rely on bundle purchases and the forgetfulness of the elderly. You have to use any means necessary to pile up that shameful heap of untouched games. Let me introduce you to another effective way to add to your suffering, to increase the soul crushing guilt, to have your hopes and dreams violently ripped from your tiny game loving heart: free giveaways! To celebrate its 30th birthday and the 300th iteration of the same open-world game since 1947, Ubisoft gave away a bunch of games. Guess who showed up just in time like a fat monkey demanding its banana. It’s a game you don’t care for, you wouldn’t buy it on a 99% Steam sale, but yet as soon as they dangle that banana in front of your face, your monkey brain goes tilt and you click that download button like the entitled feeling primate that you are.

Continue reading “Impression: Assassin’s Creed III”